Random Blarg

So today was a really loooong day. Jake had to work at 3am, and I couldn't fall back to sleep, so I ended up wandering around the apartment and I decided that we were going to have chicken tenders for supper, home made. I looked up a recipe earlier that I thought would be good. If you're brave you can try the recipe here. Overall, they were pretty good. The only thing that I could have done differently is maybe leave them in longer or add some egg to the batter to make it crunchier. Either way, Jake sure loved them!

Later on I'm hoping to make some cookies, then pop in Young Frankenstein and chill out. The neighbors are having a party downstairs, but neither one of us are really interested it, so staying in seems to be a good idea.

Also, no dice on the job frounteer yet, but hopefully I'll get something soon. I've only been here a couple of weeks, but its already feeling like home.

I've Never....

I'm stealing this idea from Jenna, whom I've just started folloing. You can find her blog here.

I'm 20 years old, and I've never...

1. Traveled outside of the country
2. Been to a art gallery
3. Seen a musical in person
4. Fully defeated Mario on the original Nintendo

 5. Hurt an animal out of anger
6. Owned a car
7. Been to a really fancy resturant
8. Been Pregnant (thank the Goddess)
9. Played in a sandbox
10. Been to a haunted house.


Some of the answers you come up with may surprise you, when you sit and think about them!

Candy Wrappers!

Lookie! My next crafty blarg bracelet. I took a picture of the pattern and then as well as the clasp. I made it from Star Burst Tropical candy wrappers, and it turned out pretty cool! the hardest part was probably the clasp, but really it wasnt THAT hard.

Anyway, right now I'm just waiting for Jake to get going so that he can run to the store to get me some cinamon as well as a few other things. I'm FINALLY tring to make that banana bread, but of course we dont have all the ingredients -.- so I got his butt out of bead to go get them. Aint I sweet? :D

Today I'm just going to clean and watch movies with the neighbor down stairs, Kylie. She's really cool and we've become fast friends. Later, I'll post my haul from Hobby Lobby (Which is a very dangerous store, never take me in there without proper supervision) and ya. Squee!

Bored Crafting

Lookie what I made! A Pop-tab bracelet! lol I was super board for the past few days and so I decided to brouse youtube. I found a tutorial to make pop tab bracelets, and so I immediatly set down to make one. I closed it with a paper clip for the clasp and its loose enough that it wont strangle my wryst but tight enough that it wont slide off my hand. I'm super proud of it :D

Anyway, not much else going on really. The neighbor and I figured that we'd go for a walk uptown, and after that I HAVE to do the dishes. Before Jake comes home. Because I've been procrastinating on doing them for 4 days and we are out of glasses. -.- sadness. But either way, today is going to be a good day even though its flipping FREZING outside. Time to pull out my awesome hat and scarf!

*knock knock* Are You Still There?

Hi hi! Yes, it is me, your lovely little pest again. So much has changed since my last blog post, and I figured it was about time to post again.

Well, first off, I'm not suicidal anymore. Yey me! Second, I don't live in Wisconsin anymore. Again with the Yey! Jake and I got an appartment togeather and we are living in Iowa now. We got here about a week ago and I am busying myself with making the appartment a home and finding a new job, as well as getting back into my crafts. Its nice, being able to wake up in the morning and see my lover off to work, then busy myself with dishes and laundry, like I was home. Like I had made myself a home, with Jake. Squee!

I don't know how often I'll be able to post, but I'll try to make it at least once a week, or maybe once a day. I'm not sure yet. For right now, True Blood calls my name. Tootles!

Stalkerish Tendancies

All right, I’ve been depressed. So much so, I’ve seriously been contemplating suicide. Grandma’s in the hospital, soon to be going to a nursing home, I cant seem to do anything right in my own home, even though work seems to be going well enough. A few things have stuck in my head from my conversations with Aunt Diane, and one that I think I may try.

I’ve come to realize that I do truly hate myself, and I told her that. She told me that I should try yelling at myself in the mirror, to which I responded that I cant even look in the mirror to comb my hair, let alone yell at myself. But the idea still stuck in my head. I started thinking about myself in an ‘objective’ way. Then I thought ‘Why not write a letter to my selves?’ because I have come to realize that there are-were-is?- many different ascpects to myself that I can clearly name. Nikki, Nikka, Nicole, and Crystalina. Past, rebellion, present, and future. And then I thought about what I may write to each of them. (still havnt gotten past the ‘Dear’ part for most) and I figured since I havnt posted in my blog for forever, I’d share some of my thoughts. After all, its my blog right?

Each name represents a different part of me. Nikki is a carefree, child-like girl still trying to get mommy and daddy’s attention for more than a few seconds, running around in the grass barefoot or talking incessantly with anyone and everyone who would listen. Nikka is a darker side, whom doesn’t want to do anything but sit in her dark corner and read, or write. Nicole is my present self, trying very hard to understand herself and where she has come from and where she will be in the future. Crystalina is my future. She is confident in herself, her abilities, her appearance. She knows that no matter what everything will work out and that she just has to stay positive in who she is and what she wants. She does not shun the past like Nicole, but embraces it like a part of herself.

That’s kinda what I’m thinking, at least. Its just sort of an idea that I’ve been trying to toss around to try to help me achive something.

Work is going well, I’ve been ‘promoted’ for lack of a better word to a head nightstaff. I’m working with the only other person in the office that gives a rats ass about me and we are doing well. We’re getting everything done and still have time to do what we missed out during the time we had to try to get manifests out. While paychecks have yet to reflect the work we have done, we are hopeful.

On the crafter’s side, I can honestly say that I have not done much with my crochet. I’ve been trying (Gods have I been trying) but no profit seems to have come out of it. I think that I need to get rid of some of this ‘negativity’ before I can focus on it again.

If anyone has any suggestions as to what I can do to help myself (or anything they think that may help period) please let me know. I’m going to post this not only on my blog but also on my deviantART because I feel that those of you who are waiting to see the creations that are currently on my hook deserve to know what is getting in the way. (side note: the fox IS complete, I just need to get up the umph to get pictures taken to be posted)

The Last Unicorn

Ok, first off, this picture was drawn by an AMAZING artist by the name of Migg. You can find her deviantART profile here. She has been kind enough to start working on some comissions for me in exchange for a Richu plushie, which I still need to get the yarn for, but I'll begin working on it as soon as I can! This is her impression of a Unicorn, as seen in 'The Last Unicorn', which was one of my favorite childhood movies. I wish I had the talent to draw! the only thing is, drawing has never been my strong suit. I'm happy with my hooks, thank you very much.

Right now, I'm just feeling lonely here at work. I'm the only one in the office, and at 9:45pm on a Sunday night I havn't had a call in over 2 hours. I finished my book, 'Wild Rain' by Christine Feehan, and wishing that I had brought another to devour. Reading has always been a form of escape for me, putting me in another time and another place while my life swirls ultimatly out of control. Writing used to do the same thing, but I have found that my creativity has died down so much that every time I do pick up a pen, the drivel that spews  forth is not worth the public eye. I used to be fairly decent at it though, and I'm hoping that with practice I can get back into it. For now though, I'm content with sharing my life with those who may sometimes take a peak at my blog.

I'm thinking about the things I would like to make. My first thing that I absolutly need to finish is Link from Legend of Zelda for my boyfriend. I've been working on it on and off for quite awhile, and I need to have it done before I see him again, so that I can suprise him (although, every time I do post something on here he reads it anyway, so it wont really be a suprise). I also need to finish a few more Mario Mushrooms to send out to Jake, my best friend and former boyfriend. But when I get home I dont want to pick up a hook anymore. I either write in my journal, read, or try to fall asleep, because of the fact that I'm so depressed its hard to function. I cant wake up any earler than I absolutly have to, so my laundry pile and chore list streach beyond my knees, and still all I can think about is sleep. Sleep and food. And even then, most of the foods that I crave are either out of reach or need to be made, and I just dont have the energy. I dont have the energy to do much ov anything. I just feel so out of control and useless. I dont know why, when everything in my life is going fine. I dont know, now I'm rambling.